This is for Leonut.
I'm not even sure why I wrote this but reading your first year experience in uni abroad just sparked my bitter memories when I was one too.
During my first year in uni, it was smooth at first. For a few months. But it goes downhill afterwards. It started when I had a fight with my housemates. Let's just say something bad happened. So, we fought. Me being me, I wasn't good at confronting people. So, I just keep quiet, keep it all inside of me. I didn't really gave them the cold treatment at first. But then it's like they conspire against me and decided to give me the cold treatment. Hence, the counter cold treatment. We never talk to each other. If we need to, we just send sms. A short and precise one. No friendly tone.
Before I knew it, I was shunned and ostracised from my batch. I guess it's something like, when they plan things, they plan it among themselves. And my housemates never told me anything about their plan. So basically I was cut off.
I was a loner during my first year. It seems as if like everything is bent on giving me hell. I have no friend. My best friends are studying in different states. I would call them always, but what can they do for me? They so far from me. They can only give encouraging words to support me. Family is in Malaysia. Basically I was left all alone without any support system. To tell you the truth, I even thought of suicide once. I thought that life is not worth living there. That I can't take it anymore at all. That I really can't stand it anymore....
I did everything that I can think of to make myself happy. I spent my money to shop. I eat a lot of food just to keep me happy. I even had a rebonding. But none of it really makes me happy.
Everything went on for the whole year. My studies were affected. Basically everything were affected. But I guess God loves me.
During my second year, I shift house. So, I got new housemates. I'm not really close to them even though we live in the same house. We are not of the same character you see. They are more religious than me. They are very reserved. But I have to thank them. They are the reasons the remaining years of me living in Aussie is lively.
They decided to tumpang one new student in our house. Long story, I clicked with that new student. Let's name him 'F'. And from F, I met other people and basically my life just goes up and up from there. I also met other good friends since then on and we still contact each other till now. We became each other support system.
Leonut, this year may seem like a hell of a year for you. But don't fret, I'm pretty sure the good ones are coming, just like they came to me.